Hiding My Authentic Self

Authenticity- Recovery Word of the week

I often struggle with hiding my authentic self out of fear.  Mostly, I struggle with being authentic because of codependency.  I feel as if my true thoughts may come off as too opinionated and harsh.  I have a problem with not thinking things through before I speak.  If I knew how to do this properly, it wouldn’t be such a struggle for me. I’m told that I’m a loving person when I’m acting from my true self. However, sometimes I feel that if people really knew what I was really thinking, they wouldn’t see me as being good.  At times, it takes every bit of strength to hold back my true feelings, knowing that it may cause conflict or problems which defeats the purpose of what I’m trying to do. I know that I’m supposed to set a good example for fellow addicts and alcoholics but sometimes I still get lost in my resentments. All I know is that if I keep working on myself and my resentments that I would be authentic in a balanced way, people would respect me more and listen to what I’m saying.  I have a responsibility to stay authentic in my daily maintenance in order to stay healthy and sober and to keep moving forward in life.