Trusting My Higher Power

Lack of trust has been a struggle for me since a very early age. With an alcoholic mother and absent father, I learned there was not much I could trust. I learned I couldn’t trust men to stick around so I wouldn’t even let them close to begin with and if I did, I clung on for dear life, praying they wouldn’t leave like my father. With all the chaos and inconsistency from my mother’s drinking, I began to realize I could only rely on myself. Others were not to be trusted.

Carrying this unhealthy belief on through the years has hindered me in making real connection with others. I told myself people lie, people leave, and people hurt. In my long journey to getting sober I started to realize it is critical I learn to trust. I realized I have been trusting the wrong people.

Trust is mutual and trust is earned. My first trusting relationship I’ve built is with my higher power. I realized through God I could learn to trust in myself and eventually in other people. It’s a process and I don’t trust myself some days but I do know if I’m willing to trust God, He has a plan for me . He can carry my burdens that I no longer have to worry and fear and that is more than I could ever hope for. Today, because of trust, I can finally be peaceful and free.