Intimacy and attachment are one of our greatest desires yet abandonment and rejection our greatest fears. Resentments and insecurities have interfered with many of the relationships I've had throughout you my life. Though I feel like I have had moments of intimacy, most of my relationships have not been truly authentic. I have developed unhealthy patterns to push the ones I love and care for most, away. If we are not intimate with anyone then the only obligation we have is to ourselves. Without intimacy, there is no accountability. Without accountability, an alcoholic or drug addict is doomed to repeat the same destructive behavior. I want to be close to my family and friends and to those who care about me. I do not want my life to be controlled by fear and anger. I am learning to let go of my selfish motives and to place my faith in God. I am learning that my inability to have intimate relationships is often the direct result of my actions. It is important for me to promptly admit when I am in the wrong and to make amends from all the wreckage of my past. I know that in time, I will be able to maintain these close relationships that I have always wanted.