Connection

Connection- Waisting Life Drawing Lines or Living Life Crossing Them

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week  South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week

South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is once we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. As babies we were easy. One cry meant we were hungry; another we were tired. It's only as adults that we become difficult. We start to hide our feelings and put up walls. It can get to the point where we never really know how anyone thinks or feels, even ourselves. Without meaning to, we can become masters of disguise with only surface level relationships -- void of true connection or intimacy. I think this is something all humans tend to experience, addict or not. In addition to overcoming this obstacle, being an addict doesn’t lend itself well to the making of friends – maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death every day, we’re forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some addicts who just don’t bother making friends at all – I was one of those people for a long time. As I got older and slipped deeper and deeper in my addiction, the more I distanced myself from loved ones. The only new connections I really made were drug connections. Since I usually had ulterior motives, I assumed everyone else did as well – so I kept people at a distance, not really trusting anyone.  

A brain study revealed that when placed in an MRI, our reward center lights up when another person sits in the room. Neurons fire when we talk to someone or think about someone – and they go haywire when we hold someone's hand. Our brains and bodies are programmed to seek each other out and connect.  In prison, the worst possible punishment (arguably equivalent to death) is solitary confinement. Human connection is such a basic need that even innocent prisoners would rather interact with rapists and murderers than be alone. In fact, the brain is so ill-adapted to isolation that it drives people mad. Prisoners in solitary confinement become anxious, angry, prone to hallucinations and wild mood swings, and unable to control their impulses.  If so many activists and psychologists consider solitary confinement torture, then why do so many of us self-isolate and convince ourselves it’s “because we prefer being alone?”  Why do we often run for the hills when we feel the slightest connection? Why do we feel compelled to fight what we're hard-wired to do? Maybe it's because when we find someone or something to hold onto, that feeling becomes like air and we're terrified we're going to lose it. And trust me – you can get pretty good at being alone.  But, most things are better when they're shared with someone else.  We’re supposed to feel. We’re supposed to love. And hate. And grieve.  And break. And be destroyed. And then build ourselves again. That’s life – that’s the entire point of being alive.  We can’t avoid it or extinguish it. At some point, we have to make a decision. 

Some people make it look so easy, connecting with another human being. It’s like no one told them it’s the hardest thing in the world. But now I’m making it my job to move that line, to push each loss as far away as I can. Because just like we need food and water, humans need each other.  I lost both my best friend & my boyfriend to this disease, among countless other friends. Despite the deep pain & grief that accompanies death, not for a moment have I regretted the close relationship we had and letting them in. In fact, I wish I didn’t waste so much time putting up walls and making them work so hard to tear them down. The only thing that haunts me is at night is wondering if they truly knew how much I loved them.  What I'm learning in recovery is that these walls don’t keep other people out, they fence me in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made and how it’s supposed to be. So, I can either waste my life drawing lines, or live my life crossing them.

 

Connection in Early Recovery

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week  South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week

South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

I believe that as humans we all desire connection between one another.  Connection, or having a similar bond in common brings us together.  For example, I am a musician and believe that music connects me to other people that also love music.  We all want and desire to feel connected amongst each other but also to something bigger or a power greater than us, or God.  This spiritual connection to God and to others brings peace, love and joy.  In my disease I became disconnected and isolated myself from my family and friends.  I have 30-days today and feel much better and more connected to people who love and support my sobriety.  I am truly grateful for this opportunity to reconnect myself to my foundation, God

"The Opposite of Addiction is Connection"

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week  South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week

South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

I once heard somewhere , “The opposite of addiction is connection”.  I used to think what does that even mean, of course I believed that the opposite of addiction was just staying clean and free from drugs and alcohol.  The more I thought about it, I realized that the root of my addiction steamed from feeling alone and the lack of connection with everyone and everything around me. The only connection I had was to my addiction, my drugs and my booze.  Building a solid foundation of genuine, meaningful relationships has shown me what true connection actually feels like and have giving me much more to live for that I thought could ever be.  South Orange County Detox and Treatment (SOCD) has shown me a connection that I thought wasn’t possible. Without the care from SOCD I would still be on the streets looking for a drug connection rather than pursing the meaningful life I have today.  I owe my life to those who have helped me out of the grave that I once had dug for myself.

Connection-The Most Important Factor in My Recovery

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week  South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week

South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

You can say my recovery relies simply on the connection I’ve made with not just others but myself.  The connection I’ve made with those I surround myself with has helped me go beyond my comfort zone.  Making a connection with another addict in the program or a supportive friend or family member is the most important factor in my recovery, in my opinion, because without reaching out and getting to know people will only leave me by myself and this is what my inner circle prefers.  So the connection I’ve made with the others in my recovery has taught me how to reach out when I need help when I’m in a bad headspace, or even just to have a helpful hand in a simple favor.  More importantly, making a connection with another human-being is the essence of life.  On a more intimate level, getting to know someone for who they are – to realize and really understand, only influences me to become the best person I can be and over time the connection I’ve made and choose to continue making will help strengthen my progress in my recovery.

A Full Life Wasn’t Meant to be Lived Alone

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week  South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Connection- Recovery Word of the Week

South OC Detox & Treatment-949-584-5927

Throughout life, and due to addiction, I’ve faded away from who I truly am.  The lines that tethered me to my moral foundations were cut away, leaving me miserable, passive and searching for solace in all the wrong places.  Making the decision to clean up, work on my defects and become a better person has helped to guide me back to the cornerstones of my foundations that makes me who I was meant to be. It hasn’t been easy.  It’s as if I’m going to war with myself to kill the man I’ve been in order to defeat this alter-ego who had taken me prisoner.  Once the smoke clears and the dust settles, I’m able to rebuild – to re-connect with my family, friends and most importantly myself.  But I can’t do it alone.  I need allies to connect with as well – support groups, a higher power, hobbies and passions.  A full life wasn’t meant to be lived alone.

Connecting with My Creative Voice

CONNECTION- WORD OF THE WEEK  SOUTH ORANGE COUNTY DETOX AND TREATMENT

CONNECTION- WORD OF THE WEEK

SOUTH ORANGE COUNTY DETOX AND TREATMENT

I consider myself to be a natural artist and creative person, however I struggle with perfecting my vision with no rough drafts, where my artwork tends to be created as a final draft rather than as a creative process. This perfectionism hinders my ability to move forward with my art because it blocks me from a connection with myself; my talent and creativity.  I’m often frustrated that I spend so much time listening to the voices in my head of self-doubt, criticism, perfectionism, and anger, which stops the artistic process and flow of my creativity.  This leaves me never satisfied with my efforts and resentful of myself for never thinking I’m good enough. In the past, this vicious cycle has often led me to my use heroin as a temporary solution to my insanity, anxiety and self-doubt.  The pain of not living in creativity, is not the type of life that will keep me satisfied and sober however using heroin has almost led me to death multiple times, therefore it is no longer an option for me. 

“The Artist Way”, has led me to an understanding that connection with myself and my higher power is the solution to my creative dilemma.  This solution will only take place if I listen to my true self, without judgement; connecting to my creativity even before I start a piece of art.  I need to have patience with myself and my healing, in an effort to open my mind to a deeper level of artistic expression .  For today, I’m working on listening and connecting to my creative voice, trying to not worry about where I think I “Should Be”, but more on “Connecting” with myself on the process of getting there.