If you’ve stumbled upon this blog post, chances are you’ve either been through detox and treatment or helped send a loved one through a facility for the help they so desperately needed. That being said, I won’t waste your time trying to educate you about the basic services provided in both settings. I will, however, delineate the differences between your run-of-the-mill center, and highlight what we here at South Orange County Detox & Treatment (SOCDT) provide that differentiates us from the pack.
For myself commitment has always been a very difficult thing for me. In my active addiction and before I was in active addiction, I could never commit or follow through with anything. I would be motivated at first and start something, but could never finish it. When I first came to rehab, it was very hard for me to commit to staying in treatment long term and commit to staying sober. I would go into treatment, and slide by without putting in the work just to please my parents and family. It was very hard to understand and conceptualize the concept of AA meetings and realizing that I had to stay clean from all mood and mind altering substances and I had to commit to that in order to stay sober. At first, I thought that everyone was crazy and that I was different and I could drink alcohol and smoke weed because my problem was with drugs. I soon found out that wasn’t the case, I was just like everyone else and I had a problem with all mood and mind altering substances. The concept of committing was still very foreign to me; it took a very long time to realize that I was no different from any other addict and that until I fully committed to staying sober, and working on myself I could not stay clean. Today, when I think of commitment I think of being impeccable with my word, when I make a commitment I need to follow through with it and do what I say I am going to do because if I don’t I can slip back into old behaviors and possibly relapse. In my eyes, commitment is a very crucial part of recovery and being able to stay clean and sober, until I can fully commit to being sober I can’t stay clean.
I have recently found myself wanting a life I don’t currently have. I want a life where I am sober, happy, and have strong bonds with my family. Always trying to take the easy way out has left me with nothing and always wanting more. Its true what they say though, nothing in life worth having comes easy and without making sacrifices and commitments. I am going to have to continue to make drastic changes to the way I think and the way I act. I need to continue to take constructive criticism and advice from others. This all seems like a lot of work but I know deep down that to be truly happy, no commitment seems to big to overcome.
Making a commitment is one of the hardest things for me to do, especially as an addict who is used to instant gratification. To make the commitment to live a clean and sober life means to work hard everyday and to learn how to cope with life on life’s terms. Keeping a commitment is a constant thing that takes persistence and routine for me. It may feel stressful and there can be times when I feel like giving up, but at the end of the day, making the commitment to remain sober only brings me closer to learning who I really am. Sobriety also brings me closer to my family and most importantly, brings me closer to my daughter. It is important that I make an honest commitment to myself because without applying honesty to my commitment, I wont be able to grow. Fellowshipping, getting a sponsor, and working the steps are also ways that I am going to commit to in order to help me grow. One day I know I will be able to earn my sobriety, be there for my daughter, and hopefully help another individual the way I have been shown help.
In recovery, this time around, my awakening started by noticing the little parts of life that I enjoy and realized that under the influence of drugs and alcohol, I can't enjoy these simple pleasures. With this awareness, I see the bigger picture of what life has to offer me. I’m starting to realize that taking life for granted has been a huge mistake of mine; I don’t know what I have until it's gone. Using this awakening as fuel to attack addiction, keeps me in the right state of mind necessary to keep pushing forward and progressing in my recovery.
Word of the Week: Awakening
Trying to find meaning in my life and in my existence recently helped me to realize that I’ve been abandoning my ideal, beliefs, and morals. Reminiscing and remembering my dreams, hopes, and visions as a child and the way I’ve been acting against those ideals led me to contemplate the meaning of why I’m here and what I have to offer. After realizing how poorly I’ve been treating others and myself, I’ve been struggling with the guilt and shame associated with my actions. I’ve had a sort of awakening of which I haven’t experienced before. Call it a spiritual awakening if you will. Since that experience, I’ve been trying to think, act, feel, and talk with purpose in hopes of attaining those hopes, dreams, and visions I had as a child
For me, forgiveness comes from a deep understanding of someone else’s life and the contributing factors that led him or her to act out in negative ways. Personally, I put myself in my enemy’s shoes and, from there, I decide my own comfortability of forgiving that person. I ask myself how? And I ask myself why? I feel that when I put myself in someone’s shoes, it helps me have the compassion I need to forgive that person… Sometimes I may never really forget the pain that person inflicted on me (whether justified or not), but I can understand enough to find some levels of forgiveness
Well, 1st of all I'm thankful to be alive and not in a hospital, and that my children still love me. It was just by chance that I looked at a list of places to go and I picked South Orange County Detox & Treatment, simply because it was in San Clemente. How could I know that I was going to get a chance at not just getting the alcohol out of my body, but to find out my the underlying issues....be able to be not just physically sober but emotionally sober, is a gift that Salina has such a firm, loving logical, hold on. I am thankful that by chance I found a wonderful place to start my life.
Holding onto resentments binds us from emotional liberation. As addicts, we have developed a psychological comfortability with certain disruptive behaviors. Living in distress becomes second nature. We must learn to reprogram our way of thinking through positive affirming actions. Remember, RESENT is the word PRESENT without the 'P". We must learn to not RESENT others, and PRESENT our anger to God, as a gift for our own personal freedom so that we can live in forgiveness and peace that we all so deserve.