To me in recovery beauty is in the mental and physical transformation that happens when we properly work on emotional recovery. The transformation in a persons character and behaviors become humble and their ability to understand themselves and other addicts on a much deeper level. The humility in overcoming a rock bottom makes us grateful for life on life’s terms because they have lived a shallow empty life on their terms that didn’t work out. When we live in love for the little things in life and we become content and present with ourselves and live in the moment, we can feel the vibe of serenity in the surrender of our behavior. To me, that is the beauty of the gift of desperation that God gives addicts in recovery.
Awakening is a very fitting word for a disease such as alcoholism. Alcohol dulls the senses, and for me, my heart and soul. What I have learned here at South Orange County Detox and Treatment is that it is ok and even encouraged to awake to who I really am. What everyone, and especially Salina, has done for me is to help me awaken to my true self. By encouraging me to dig deep to be completely honest without judgement is such a gift that is given here at SOCD freely. Here they encourage me to awaken to not only physical sobriety, but more importantly, emotional sobriety. I feel that I now have the tools to awaken the true self; mother, daughter and friend. The true self is awake and sober!
In recovery, this time around, my awakening started by noticing the little parts of life that I enjoy and realized that under the influence of drugs and alcohol, I can't enjoy these simple pleasures. With this awareness, I see the bigger picture of what life has to offer me. I’m starting to realize that taking life for granted has been a huge mistake of mine; I don’t know what I have until it's gone. Using this awakening as fuel to attack addiction, keeps me in the right state of mind necessary to keep pushing forward and progressing in my recovery.