In the past I had very low to no motivation for things that could have been accomplished and benefited me and most likely would have pointed me in a completely different path that wouldn’t have lead me through the hell that I’ve endured. All I needed was to be motivated by the right people, the people who gave me direction in my life. In the past I was motivated by the people who really, for the most part, didn’t care or were lonely in their misery and needed another soul to blacken. Instead of school I chose the streets. Instead of hitting baseballs, I was shooting dope. Between the streets, abandoned buildings, and jail.
This is only one short story about where the wrong motivators send me. After 13 years of jails, rehabs, overdoses, violence, deaths, loss, homelessness, starving, psychosis, and manic depression, I was at the point where I either started to live or I was just going to allow myself to die. It took me a couple tries to find where I felt comfortable enough to feel safe in recovery but once I found my family at SOCD, I became motivated to achieve what I was made to do. Once a high school drop out, dead beat junkie loser that really should have been dead a long time ago, I am now in my 2nd semester of college, with 7 months of sobriety. Instead of hurting myself and the others around me, I’m growing and learning each day which motivates me to continue on the path sobriety and a new way of living.