Gratitude, through the journey of my sobriety, has become the cleanser of my soul. It has become my “reset” button. Without gratitude, I get stuck in a rut where I focus on everything I don’t want, everything I don’t have and everything I don’t like within my life. This state to me, through my experiences, is my most vulnerable position for relapse. Through this way of thinking, I’ve come to realize, that what I then think, I will attract in my experience. This theory explains the years of negative attraction toward myself, toward others and toward my perspective on life.
When I open my eyes to the fact that while I am writing this and you are reading this, there are ones who are taking their final breathes of life who would do anything to have a second chance of living. Meanwhile, I have this experience to be alive, now. To breath the air of life, to have a heart beat. My gratitude starts with these little but big things to an addict like myself, who has gotten this second chance at life that some I knew weren’t able to get. Even to this day, there are times where I will be in a meeting where that overwhelming anxiety I get at times before I share will come over me. There was a time that this feeling would frighten me and fill me with fear to prevent me from sharing, but not today. Today when I am confronted with this feeling, I am moved to gratitude. Gratitude of that I am able to feel something today. Something other than the numbness of drugs and alcohol.
When I am grateful, I am of great fullness of life. A great life, starts with a great mind and a blessed life starts, first, with a blessed mind. Not the other way around. We don’t get blessings given to us so that we can feel blessed. Gratitude is not something that can be given to me in order to feel grateful. It’s when I am grateful that more is given to me. I’ve realized that gratitude is not in any form something external, I believe it to be an internal light that is in all of us, who are the conductors that have the ability to turn it on or off at any given moment in our lives. The real connection is that genuine gratitude puts us in a positive state immediately. If I do this everyday, the very worst result will be that I feel better. What a concept.
“The struggle ends, when GRATITUDE begins”