Acceptance is a vital step when it comes to recovery. I have heard time and time again that I need to accept my condition. I need to accept that I suffer from the disease of addiction and that I will never be able to drink or use like a normal person. I am the typical AA cliché: an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I like to convince myself that I am uniquely different, which has lead me down the path of relapse many times. I have finally, this time, come to accept that I am no exception. I have to work on my recovery every single day in order to maintain my sobriety. There is nothing socially acceptable about doing heroin. That being said, it didn’t take much for me to accept that I am an addict. Recovery is so much more than abstinence from substances though.
When I admitted to SOCD, I had finally had enough. I was so beaten down, broken, and hopeless. My desperation was a gift because from it I became willing to do absolutely anything to change. Every day I have to accept that I have no control over anything outside of myself. I have to accept my character defects and my shortcomings in order to change them. I have to accept the mistakes I made in active addiction and be willing to do whatever it takes not to repeat them. Acceptance, for me, is being willing to look at myself honestly: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Acceptance is being willing to love myself no matter how many mistakes I’ve made or how many people I’ve hurt. Once I am able to accept myself and my situation as being exactly as it is meant to be, I am able to open myself up to true healing and sobriety!