Forgiveness is an extremely powerful word that I have learned needs to first apply to myself. I must first forgive myself to begin the healing and the process of moving forward in strength and honesty. This not to say that I'm not cut to the heart by what I have done in my drinking career, as that would make it way too easy to give myself a pass to drink again. But, rather, when I don’t forgive myself, I stay in my own pity party which inevitably leads me to drink and to reinforce the denial of my actions .
My Creator is quick to forgive and, we as humans are imperfect beings, judging harshly ourselves and others. My creator takes into account all things and does not bring to mind our past transgressions... If we truly turn around---He's not looking for wrong but instead searching for the Goodness in our Hearts. What a gracious thing....I can only compare this love to the I have for my children. I bonded with them from the moment I found out that I had life inside of me. I have been there through every step of their time on this earth and when they fall short, I never stop loving them. So, if I as an imperfect mother, I can have this level of love and forgiveness for them... Who am I to not forgive myself just as My Creator has Forgiven Me?
At South Orange County Detox & Treatment, I have learned to forgive myself, to work on my emotional sobriety, and to continue to grow as the strong healthy sober mom, daughter, niece, friend, human being that I was meant to be now and forever.